It Takes Time
“If TIME is a healer, then all hearts that break are put back together again.” -Eva Cassidy
It’s a nice song, and the late Eva Cassidy is one of my favorite singers, but the sentiment of this line is challenged by the very first word; “If” …and it’s a BIG “If”.
TIME itself does not heal anything, but healing does require time. There are no real shortcuts.
Women who have been traumatized by numerous sexual assaults, repeated violence, and years of insults and rejections compounded by a tapestry of lies all around them, have experienced what’s called ‘complex trauma’. This is not easy to address from a therapist’s point of view, and it is overwhelming for the one who has suffered it, and who desperately needs the counseling.
Prostituted women have suffered complex trauma to a greater degree than almost anyone in modern society, says renowned author Judith Herman, M.D. Helping them find a sense of stability and peace in their life with the courage to expose their personal traumas in a safe, therapeutic environment, takes very special circumstances, and a great deal of TIME. In fact Dr. Herman goes on to say; “Resolution of the trauma is never final; recovery is never complete.” (Trauma and Recovery, page 211) The process of healing from trauma and overcoming the effects of trauma continue for a life-time, but they eventually change from being debilitating to becoming the building blocks of strength and emotional maturity.
For those of us who have never suffered complex trauma, but have a great desire to help those that have, we have important work to do. First off, we have to throw away insensitive words like: “Hurry up and get better”, when talking to a trauma victim. What we can do is provide physically, emotionally, and socially SAFE SPACES for victims to inhabit while they deal with what has happened to them. Then step back and give them a lot of TIME.
Engedi Refuge is a LONG-TERM therapeutic program, designed to promote healing, and provide layers of support for women traumatized by sexual exploitation.
Join us in ‘loving the hurting’ by becoming a financial partner with Engedi.