Now I Know

Justine* came from three generations of prostitution in her family and was one of our very first residents at Engedi Refuge.  Her story rocked our world and taught us many critical things. 

She wrote this:  “I am a survivor of life-long exploitation.  I lived in a constant state of fear, danger and isolation.  I was homeless, jobless, and hopeless.  I sought escape through every known resource available, yet continued to fall prey to the vicious cycle of human trafficking and all that is associated with that lifestyle.”

Before she came to Engedi she spent six months running for her life after escaping from a gang that had trafficked, raped and tortured her.  She later told us:  “Engedi Refuge saved my life.  It is a literal refuge from the fugitive existence that sexual exploitation breeds.”

I used to think that prostitutes liked sex and, in fact, had an unusually high craving for sex, and that their experiences in that trade made them feel happy or empowered.

Now I know that their smiles and feigned enjoyment is the price they pay to endure what is for them a loathsome task, and it is their pretense to cover up their pain and self-hatred.

I learned that prostitution, or ‘sex work’, was not the life of glamour, wealth, endless sexual pleasure and self-empowerment that some claim, and the way that the sexual entertainment industry markets it to the masses.  It is actually a system of virtual slavery that destroys people; body, soul and spirit.  It keeps people desperately poor and painfully unhealthy and radically co-dependent on selfish and abusive people perpetually, causing extreme physical and psychological damage and social isolation.

Justine was one of many, (over 150), women we have worked with personally that have pulled back the curtain of life in the sex industry in America for us, and had the courage to tell us their real story.  It has broken our hearts, and solidified our devotion to their protection.

I used to think prostitutes were social pariahs and criminals. 

Now I know that every single one of them was either physically forced or psychologically manipulated to capitulate to commercialized sex acts as a human commodity; usually from a sense of severe desperation or survival, believing they had no other realistic choice.  They are, in fact, the victims of sexual assault and a cruel, systemic injustice.

I used to think that helping a trafficking survivor would be relatively easy, by just providing a place to stay for a few weeks and a job opportunity.  A hug and a prayer and an encouraging word ought to do the trick.

Now I know that that is a gross simplification and underestimation of their needs.  The fact is, survivors of sexual exploitation are typically at an extreme deficit in many areas of life, and their need for compassion and assistance is very high.  They are battling poverty, addictions, mental illness sometimes (which can be extreme), complex trauma, physical ailments and wounds, social abandonment and disconnection, lack of education and vocational training, and a destroyed sense of self-respect and empowerment.  To appropriately and lovingly help them, you need to meet all those needs, and walk with them for a long time as they find resources on their own and a necessary sense of hope that will feed their perseverance.

Engedi Refuge provides all of that.
Join us in this great work of compassion … Now that you know.

*The survivor’s name has been changed to protect her privacy.